Notes on Kinbaku
Ten rules: manners in Japanese rope practice
In loving memory of Uncle Shu — my friend and a wonderful rope practitioner.
This material is based on Uncle Shu’s article, “A short set of rules (manners) for Japanese bondage practitioners”. All ten rules and their original order are preserved here.
1. Do not step on another person’s ropes
足浮かせ · Ashi ukase
Never step on another person’s ropes. Many rope practitioners value their ropes and take good care of them. Preparing and maintaining them takes time and attention; stepping on them is rude and disrespectful.
Japanese text
他人の縄は決して踏んではならない。縄に想いや拘りを持つ人は多い。大事に扱うのは礼儀で、足で踏むのは大変失礼。
2. Ask before touching someone else’s ropes
縄ことわり · Nawa kotowari
Do not touch another person’s ropes without asking permission, even if you intend to help. Before touching a rope, including when helping to put it away, make sure its owner has agreed.
Japanese text
足浮かせと同様に他人の縄に触れる時は、一言ことわりをいれる。例え親切心で縄の片付けをする時にでも、持ち主に触れていいか確認をしてから触れる。
3. Share the floor: three parts for yourself, seven for the other
七三の床 · Shichisan no yuka
When tying alongside someone else in a shared space, think of taking three tenths for yourself and leaving seven tenths for the other person. If both take this approach, neither uses more than half the space, and they avoid getting in each other’s way.
Japanese text
同じ床で複数人で縄を掛ける場合、相手に七、自分に三の領域のつもりで掛ける。互いにそのつもりでいることで、互いに干渉し合わない五分五分の場を作ることが出来る。
4. Respect existing relationships and agreements
姫（殿）泥棒 · Hime / tono dorobō
Do not seek greater intimacy with someone who has a primary partner or established boundaries by bypassing that relationship and its agreements. At a minimum, their partner should know about the proposed interaction. When tying, obtain the consent of both people.
Japanese text
主や相方のいる女性又は男性と必要以上に親しくなることは御法度。相手が知った上で関わることが最低限の礼儀。縄を掛ける場合は両者の同意を得ること。
5. If you made a mistake through ignorance, apologise
うかつあやまり · Ukatsu ayamari
If you tied someone without knowing that they had a partner or that permission was absent, do not shift the blame onto the person you tied. Offer a sincere apology to resolve the situation.
Japanese text
相手に主や相方がいることを知らずに縄をかけてしまった場合、相手のせいにはせずしっかりと謝ることでその場を収める。
6. Do not make excuses
いいわけいらず · Iiwake irazu
If you notice shortcomings in your work after tying, do not make excuses: doing so may leave the person receiving your rope with an even worse impression. Accept the result honestly and acknowledge your shortcomings.
Japanese text
縄を掛けた後に、ああだこうだといいわけをしない。受け手にさらに悪い印象を与えてしまう。結果は真摯に受け止める。
7. Discuss problems with the person involved
髪ひき · Kami hiki
Questions and problems that arise during tying can accumulate and keep troubling you if left unspoken. They often end up being discussed with people who were not involved. Try to clarify them directly with the person concerned, rather than carrying them forward. Do not act as though you were pulling someone’s hair from behind.
Japanese text
縛られた時に発生した不具合や問題を、その場で伝えずに後に引きずる。当事者以外に伝わることが多い。後に引かずにその場で伝えるべし。後ろから髪を引っ張るようなことはしない。
8. Do not draw others into a conflict
足びき · Ashi biki
If a conflict occurs, do not draw uninvolved people into it. Envy, resentment and attempts to undermine someone by involving others are unworthy conduct.
Japanese text
相手を羨やみ、妬み、他人を巻き込んで足を引っ張ろうとすること。迷惑極まりない行為。
9. Different preferences, shared humanity
同じ草 · Onaji kusa
Whatever our sexual orientation or preferences, we are all human. We are like plants: even when stepped on, we can endure and continue to grow. But a plant cannot grow without roots and leaves — the people who make up its life. Both need care and nourishment.
Japanese text
どんな性癖もどんな嗜好も、様々な事柄は同じ『人』の心。同じ草のようなもの。踏まれても耐え、育っていくもの。草は根 ( 人 ) と葉 ( 人 ) がないと育たない。どちらにも養分を与える必要がある。
10. Part with respect and continue your path
しぐさの道 · Shigusa no michi
Even with a partner with whom you shared strong feelings and a deep bond, a time of parting may come. Move to the next stage without resentment, hostility, hatred or blame: this is part of the path of good manners. Do not remain fixed on the relationship that has ended; see it not as the end, but as the beginning of a new path.
Japanese text
主や相方と積み重ねた想いや絆も、いつか別れを迎えることになる。相手を妬み、怨み、憎み、責めることなく、次の道へ進むのが思草の道。枯れるのではなく、育ち花咲くものである。